This is sort of in reply to Cid over at brightness falls. Kevin Smith on the new Star Wars movie.

You see, I’m from the old school. When I was coming up, there was nothing cooler than Star Wars. When my crew would come over to my house, we’d always play like we was in Mos Espa, chilling at the cantina, getting some sweet intergalactic space brew from Wuher- though the droids had to wait outside. When we played, it was always a fight to see who had to play Luke Skywalker- none of us wanted to play that little sissy-boy. We all wanted to be the badass of the universe, Darth mother-fucking Vader. No fool dared to give that homeboy any lip, otherwise he’d go all Admiral Motti on your ass and you’d find yourself sucking your brass monkeys through a straw, rueing your lack of faith, on account of your crushed windpipe. So needless to say, when i found out that the new trilogy was being made, I was excited. We’d get to see Vader going medieval on some Jedi asses. We’d get to see the rise of the empire and the fall of Anakin. These were heady days, before the dark times, before the Empire.

Then came March of 2000 and the travesty that was “The Phantom Menace” hit theaters and I, along with legions of fans and the vast majority of sensible film-goers, recoiled in horror at the tragedy played through in my favorite universe. Darth Vader was a pissant little slave boy? He was friends with the most obnoxious character ever placed on screen (damn you jar jar! you still plague my nightmares!)? Samuel L. Jackson was on the Jedi Council? Okay, i agreed with that aspect. Who is more badass than Samuel L? I mean, Jules? Come on?!? He’s the only thing this new trilogy had going for it. Well, him and the ever lust-worthy Natalie Portman (a femme fatale who actually has some talent in her bones. this girl’s going places. all you doubters just watch “Closer” and try to argue with me.). But this did not make me lose faith. It was battered, it was bruised, but it still managed to hold out hope in the new films. After all, “A New Hope” was always the weakest of the original trilogy. Perhaps the next two would live up to Empire and Jedi. Fast forward two years. “Attack of the Clones.” I should have been dissuaded by it’s shoddy ass title, right out of an Ace publishing space opera. Utter schlock. Fit for a pulp comic, and that is definitely not what Star Wars was. But it was okay, I could blame George Lucas.

Though the man originally created this universe, it has not been through is efforts that it has grown to the heights it’s reached. No, the pinnacle of the SW universe was articulated in the latter films of the trilogy, through the director’s chairs of Irvin Kershner and Richard Marquand, respectively. Like all children, though it was given life by Lucas, it truly came into it’s own when thrust out of his nest and among strangers, who molded it as they would. It was when the SW universe returned home to raise some money for it’s parent in the twilight years of it’s life that it finally began to be the rock star sell-out we all suspected lurked under it’s kindly facade. I wasn’t let down by “Attack of the Clones.” My expectations were so low, that I got exactly what I was expecting. A tacky love story mixed with an unclear civil war and too much CG. Not only that but they’d swapped out Anakins and made him even more of a whiny bitch than he was before. (perhaps there’s some reverse genetics at work here, and Luke’s bitchiness in the original trilogy flowed backward through time and made Darth Vader a whiny little shit as well). I was let down. I was heart-broken. I swore to love Star Wars no more. I was off the Lucasfilm trip. This George Lucas monkey was off my back.

And it worked.

For three years I have paid no mind to the Star Wars merchandise machine which has gone on to grip the world like Skynet in “Terminator.” I gave up reading the novels. I don’t know how the new Jedi ended up defeating the alien menace from outside their galaxy. I don’t know if Leia managed to reconcile the differences in the New Republic Senate to bring peace to a newly united democratic galaxy. I was done. Cold turkey, no more. But in the past couple months renewed cravings have been pulling at me. The teaser trailer has whet my appetite. My interest has been piqued. The film looked dark. It looked conclusive. It looked like George Lucas couldn’t fuck this up, even if he tried. And now, justification. Kevin Smith knows his Star Wars. The quality dialogues provided in such films as “Clerks” and “Chasing Amy” regarding the specifics of the Star Wars universe have validated this many times over. And if a true-blue fan from way back passes on this third installment of the “not-to-be-mentioned” trilogy, then maybe my hopes can be raised a bit. Maybe everything will turn out okay. Maybe this film will bring me to tears, just as watching Han Solo being encased in carbonite after having the girl of his dreams profess her love for him used to do to me. Maybe a balance will be reached between the light (old trilogies) and the dark (new shit). Maybe the universe will rest easy given the end of this series. We can only hope.