The following is a telephone exchange between a hotel guest and room-service, at a hotel in Asia, which was recorded and published in the Far East Economic Review:
Room Service (RS): “Morrin. Roon sirbees.”
Guest (G): “Sorry, I thought I dialed room-service.”
RS: “Rye..Roon sirbees..morrin! Jewish to oddor sunteen??”
G: “Uh..yes..I’d like some bacon and eggs.”
RS: “Ow July den?”
G: “What??”
RS: “Ow July den?…pryed, boyud, poochd?”
G : “Oh, the eggs! How do I like them? Sorry, scrambled please.”
RS: “Ow July dee baykem? Crease?”
G: “Crisp will be fine.”
RS : “Hokay. An Sahn toes?”
G: “What?”
RS:”An toes. July Sahn toes?”
G: “I don’t think so.”
RS: “No? Judo wan sahn toes??”
G: “I feel really bad about this, but I don’t know what ‘judo wan sahn toes’ means.”
RS: “Toes! toes!…Why jew don juan toes? Ow bow Anglish moppin we bodder?”
G: “English muffin!! I’ve got it! You were saying ‘Toast.’ Fine. Yes, an English muffin will be fine.”
RS: “We bodder?”
G: “No…just put the bodder on the side.”
RS: “Wad?”
G: “I mean butter…just put it on the side.”
RS: “Copy?”
G: “Excuse me?”
RS: “Copy…tea…meel?”
G: “Yes. Coffee, please, and that’s all.”
RS: “One Minnie. Scramah egg, crease baykem, Anglish moppin we bodder on sigh and copy….rye??”
G: “Whatever you say.”
RS: “Tenjewberrymuds.”
G : “You’re very welcome.”
October 13th, 2005 at 4:34 pm
It reminds me of Henry Rollins reading his letter from a Czech named Borris:
“Hello Henry. I’m sorry for my english but I understand english very little. Thank you for your favor. My name is Borris. Have 24 years in right czech republic. You played in czech, 2X. Both concerts, they were splendid. On two concert, I’m should’ve collective photo, but small fat bald headed technologist be insane. I compilation all material for you and band. I would like to read of your some book but she don’t be publishing in czech language. This book should be successful in czech republic, sure. I you very much for autograph or publicity material or answer in my letter. Thanks a lot for it. I wish for you, band, much power health and energy at further way music. Goodbye at future concert in czech republic. Borris.”
You should head Dmtri trying to order lunch from the chinese place near our office. It’s much the same content as your post.
“You lie genwal sow chikon?”
Suppose it’s not nice make fun of people for their accents. But I still find it funny, despite what the PC police may say.