Long road black road touch the road
It’s a hard road
Spontaneous combustion
Final decision it’s the only way
Straight up off from the aggressive rock
Intelligensia
But I feel no pain
From the vacuum that sucks me in

I saw you drifting away
With your car today
With the world rushing by
In the wink of an eye
Move away from the whip
On the reality ship
And the world is a toy
For sensational gravity boy

Words in the important points
Is the assassin
Models just them figurines
Yeah just the ones we chose to keep
Look them over vaguely spacy
He spots them
And he will not change
He is a trooper when it comes to that

I saw you drifting away
With your car today
With the world rushing by
In the wink of an eye
Move away from the whip
On the reality ship
And the world is a toy
For sensational gravity boy

–

PS: Eventually, I’ll stop posting lyrics. But that will be when I’m not so hammered that lyrics are all I’m thinking about.

Last night at 1:02 and three seconds am, digital clocks read 01-02-03-04-05-06. It happens once a century, and apparently, the world atomic clock timekeepers got really excited about it…

Also, purity posted pretty much the cutest blog ever the other night…

I on the other hand, never post….because myspace is rapidly becoming the only thing on the internet I have time for. And DAMN what a lot of time it is…

Also…in one week…my blog will be one year old. It’s been a trying year….but I’m starting to think 2006 will be a lot better.

“New Rule : You have to stop saying that Brokeback Mountain didn’t win because of a homosexual backlash in Hollywood. The only homosexual backlash in Hollywood involves an actual homosexual, hitting you in the back, with a lash. In fact, if there is anything that Brokeback Mountain has taught us, it’s that there is nothing wrong with coming in number two.”

Holy shit.

I passed out at my friend’s house last night, and had to drive home this morning. Currently we’ve got about two feet of snow on the ground. It’s drifting though…so in some places it’s waist deep.

91 North was so bad in some places my car would have got stuck if I had to stop. The exit I normally take was simply NOT there…in it’s place was a wall of snow. It took me about 45 minutes to go about 15 miles.

The Weather Channel just said that at certain times, it was snowing up to 4 inches an hour. My car was completely drifted in…you could barely see it when I got up this morning. The snow was nice and light though, so we used a broom and basically swept most of it away…or rather, enough for me to get into the car….then I threw it reverse and with some effort managed to back out. Getting up the GIGANTIC fucking hill out of my friends parking lot however, took 2 or three tries. First try I made it about 50% up it, then peeled out and slid backwards down the whole thing until I cut the wheel and pulling a 180 with basically no traction at all. I looped around the barely plowed parking lot…got going about 40, and plowed up the hill again. Some variation on this theme finally got me out after a few more tries.

This was BY far the most out of control weather I’ve ever had to drive in. And I did it with a Honda Civic, without studs or chains - demonstrating once again that studs are for pussies, and completely unneeded. Yes, there were places I was almost certain I was going to get stuck, like say, every single stop light. Or really…any time I had to stop for that matter, or even slow down too much..and sometimes just because…but the Honda power came through. I will say though, if I had to go anywhere outside of civilization, I wouldn’t. I was comforted on the drive home by the fact that should I get completely stuck, there were plenty of warm places around. Although it may have meant 12 hours in a 7-11 eating corn dogs…but hey…it’s better than dying out in the cold. I’m a particularly dense person sometimes, such as last night, and decided “Hey, they’re predicting the biggest storm of the year is going to hit tonight, I’ll go get wasted at my friends house and only take a hooded sweatshirt. What could possibly go wrong?”

I was just extremely careful not to try and use any side streets or anything. I saw MANY fools that did….and they are probably still out there digging…

I have never been as happy pulling into my parking lot as I was today. Speaking of which, that was quite a challenge in itself. Like I said though the snow is extremely light and fluffy though…so I just got a running start and plowed straight in….blowing snow out of the way…and managed to get to the only clear windswept spot in the whole parking lot. Then 20 minutes later the plow guy showed up. It’s awesome, every car in the lot is nearly invisible they are so buried in snow…except mine. I pity the fools that have to wake up in the morning and dig their shit out.

It’s hilarious…the Weather Channel keeps repeating “there is a heavy snow warning in effect in our area.” It’s like, no… last night there was a heavy snow warning… today there is just heavy snow… everyfuckingwhere.

Oh..ok..one more complaint and then I’m done. What the fuck is it with people walking down the middle of the fucking street? If I had a dollar for every fucking idiot I saw walking right down the middle of the street, forcing me to lose valuable and possibly unrecoverable speed, I would have…I don’t know…probably 20 or so dollars. Fucking morons. Go back in your goddamn house, or start shoveling the sidewalk…but I was having a hard enough time without having to worry about killing pedestrians who feel the street is their playground.

That’s all..I’m alive..and home. I have food, heat, a case of beer, a bottle of Makers, and I’m not going ANYWHERE.

I have no idea what’s going on. But I can scarcely believe how awesome this town is.

A few minutes ago, a beat ass car…perhaps say, a 1983 Toyota Corolla went by. Now this is not immediately awesome, in fact, it could be considered a regular occurrence in nearly any town in America. But HERE, you look out your window wondering what the crazy crazy loud deathly screech is, and you see this Corolla. It’s not the sound of a belt screech though, it literally sound like all four tires perpetually peeling out.

You think to yourself, “that can’t be right…how could a Toyota light up all four tires?” You are right. The tires are not all peeling out, as that is impossible…and not only that, there is no telltale smoke. And trust me, tires peeling out that sounded like this would be quite smokey.

After the car disappeared from sight (but not sound), about 5 cop cars raced by lights and sirens blazing in chase. I can’t see around the corner of the building next door (not my office, the pie shop rather) to see what’s going on. But the huge evil screech has stopped, and I can see the police lights reflecting off the building next door.

I’m just left to wonder what in the hell would prompt you to continue driving when you car begins making a noise like that. Perhaps he was already running from the cops when the noise started? Barring that, escape from the law for some heinous crime, I can’t think of a reason not to immediately stop driving when that noise started.

It seriously sounded like banshees at the gates of hell. The sound completely stole my soul for a minute. I couldn’t decide if it was coming from my computer speakers, or the TV, or actually from outside or what. If I could get a good recording of a sound like that, I’d put it on my myspace profile as a sort of audio homage to the visual design abilities of oh so many myspace users. It was just all of a sudden all around me. And then I looked out to see the most unassuming car making it. I still can’t come up with anywhere near a rational explanation. There is nothing I know of that can happen to a car that can make it sound like that….other than as mentioned, a 4 wheel drive car burning out constantly as it drives down the road at about 10 miles an hour until it’s tires all explode.

Anyway….never a shortage of interesting things going on outside my window in this town.

Wow…before I could even hit post, there was a knock on my door. I immediately guessed it was that gaggle of hot chicks I’ve been expecting to just show up some day….but alas…it was not. It was just some friendly neighborhood bible thumpers inviting me to church with them. I hope I didn’t look too stoned when I told them I was going to be busy driving thumbtacks under my toe nails all night instead.

I was just watching the beginning of The Island. I haven’t watched it far enough to know if it’s good or not, but something struck me and forced me to jump up from my smoky daze and post something.

Why is it that companies pay for product placement in movies about dystopian futures? In The Island, everyone lives in these uber-sterile constructions, monitored down so far as even their urine ever time they urinate, and generally can’t show any emotion without a visit from the “police”. However, during their relaxing swims, they wear Speedos. When they need a drink of water, they drink Aquafina.

I just don’t understand that kind of product placement. Are they meaning to imply that their products are so good they will still be there when everything else has gone to absolute shit? That somehow, they will survive when the government even controls your emotions, because you will have no choice but to drink Aquafina? Doesn’t that give a bad impression to their brand name?

In the first 15 minutes of this movie, I’ve discovered the future is divided into at least 4 groups. The people at large, the “man”, Aquafina, and last but not least, Speedo. It just seems like maybe someone needs to review the plots before they pay for the product placement…because I’m never gonna look at a bottle of Aquafina the same again.

Update: So I started the movie again when I finished this post. The very next scene, we learn that the government gets to control what you eat for breakfast. So I assume they get to control what you drink to…like water. Aquafina, the official H20 of the dystopian future. Something makes me think that’s not what they were aiming for when they bought this placement.

So the film continues…and you find that instead of real life boxing, they have a sort of crazy virtual reality boxing, that is run on, the X-Box? WTF? This movie, while interesting so far, seems like a protest movie against the global domination of corporations and how bad that could be, while at the same time corporations have paid huge amounts of money to make sure their products get mentioned instead of competitors. It’s really weird. Scary kinda….actually forget kinda…it’s real scary.

Seriously. It’s free…and funny as all hell.

It’s Virgin Mobile’s phone sales line, which respects your wintertime celebration choices to a great degree.

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