I spent all day
dreaming of the way I’d like to hold you
So I got absolutely nothing done
but it was so much fun and have I told you

How beautiful you are tonight
just like a movie star
how beautiful you are tonight
just like a movie star

Quit your job, dear
Then you can stay here at home beside me
You’ll be James Dean
I’ll be Sal Mineo, you can hide me

How beautiful you are tonight
just like a movie star
how beautiful you are tonight
just like a movie star

Holy shit.

I passed out at my friend’s house last night, and had to drive home this morning. Currently we’ve got about two feet of snow on the ground. It’s drifting though…so in some places it’s waist deep.

91 North was so bad in some places my car would have got stuck if I had to stop. The exit I normally take was simply NOT there…in it’s place was a wall of snow. It took me about 45 minutes to go about 15 miles.

The Weather Channel just said that at certain times, it was snowing up to 4 inches an hour. My car was completely drifted in…you could barely see it when I got up this morning. The snow was nice and light though, so we used a broom and basically swept most of it away…or rather, enough for me to get into the car….then I threw it reverse and with some effort managed to back out. Getting up the GIGANTIC fucking hill out of my friends parking lot however, took 2 or three tries. First try I made it about 50% up it, then peeled out and slid backwards down the whole thing until I cut the wheel and pulling a 180 with basically no traction at all. I looped around the barely plowed parking lot…got going about 40, and plowed up the hill again. Some variation on this theme finally got me out after a few more tries.

This was BY far the most out of control weather I’ve ever had to drive in. And I did it with a Honda Civic, without studs or chains - demonstrating once again that studs are for pussies, and completely unneeded. Yes, there were places I was almost certain I was going to get stuck, like say, every single stop light. Or really…any time I had to stop for that matter, or even slow down too much..and sometimes just because…but the Honda power came through. I will say though, if I had to go anywhere outside of civilization, I wouldn’t. I was comforted on the drive home by the fact that should I get completely stuck, there were plenty of warm places around. Although it may have meant 12 hours in a 7-11 eating corn dogs…but hey…it’s better than dying out in the cold. I’m a particularly dense person sometimes, such as last night, and decided “Hey, they’re predicting the biggest storm of the year is going to hit tonight, I’ll go get wasted at my friends house and only take a hooded sweatshirt. What could possibly go wrong?”

I was just extremely careful not to try and use any side streets or anything. I saw MANY fools that did….and they are probably still out there digging…

I have never been as happy pulling into my parking lot as I was today. Speaking of which, that was quite a challenge in itself. Like I said though the snow is extremely light and fluffy though…so I just got a running start and plowed straight in….blowing snow out of the way…and managed to get to the only clear windswept spot in the whole parking lot. Then 20 minutes later the plow guy showed up. It’s awesome, every car in the lot is nearly invisible they are so buried in snow…except mine. I pity the fools that have to wake up in the morning and dig their shit out.

It’s hilarious…the Weather Channel keeps repeating “there is a heavy snow warning in effect in our area.” It’s like, no… last night there was a heavy snow warning… today there is just heavy snow… everyfuckingwhere.

Oh..ok..one more complaint and then I’m done. What the fuck is it with people walking down the middle of the fucking street? If I had a dollar for every fucking idiot I saw walking right down the middle of the street, forcing me to lose valuable and possibly unrecoverable speed, I would have…I don’t know…probably 20 or so dollars. Fucking morons. Go back in your goddamn house, or start shoveling the sidewalk…but I was having a hard enough time without having to worry about killing pedestrians who feel the street is their playground.

That’s all..I’m alive..and home. I have food, heat, a case of beer, a bottle of Makers, and I’m not going ANYWHERE.

Trailing off the likes of it
She likes it when it grows
Sending out a candidate
She’s sinking her foes
Peaking out then leveling
Wherever it goes

And her mother will greet you
And a river will reach you
Breaking out to make you slave again

Chasing Heather crazy
Chasing Heather crazy
Making sure that all the world is coming down
All the world is coming down on her
Anywhere I want to
And if you want to come too
We’ll go down where
All the girls are stumblin’ round
All the world is crumbling down around her

Staring out from otherworldly windows painted red
Doesn’t have to listen to the voices in your head
That’s a different lie
Do you remember what was said?

I have no idea what’s going on. But I can scarcely believe how awesome this town is.

A few minutes ago, a beat ass car…perhaps say, a 1983 Toyota Corolla went by. Now this is not immediately awesome, in fact, it could be considered a regular occurrence in nearly any town in America. But HERE, you look out your window wondering what the crazy crazy loud deathly screech is, and you see this Corolla. It’s not the sound of a belt screech though, it literally sound like all four tires perpetually peeling out.

You think to yourself, “that can’t be right…how could a Toyota light up all four tires?” You are right. The tires are not all peeling out, as that is impossible…and not only that, there is no telltale smoke. And trust me, tires peeling out that sounded like this would be quite smokey.

After the car disappeared from sight (but not sound), about 5 cop cars raced by lights and sirens blazing in chase. I can’t see around the corner of the building next door (not my office, the pie shop rather) to see what’s going on. But the huge evil screech has stopped, and I can see the police lights reflecting off the building next door.

I’m just left to wonder what in the hell would prompt you to continue driving when you car begins making a noise like that. Perhaps he was already running from the cops when the noise started? Barring that, escape from the law for some heinous crime, I can’t think of a reason not to immediately stop driving when that noise started.

It seriously sounded like banshees at the gates of hell. The sound completely stole my soul for a minute. I couldn’t decide if it was coming from my computer speakers, or the TV, or actually from outside or what. If I could get a good recording of a sound like that, I’d put it on my myspace profile as a sort of audio homage to the visual design abilities of oh so many myspace users. It was just all of a sudden all around me. And then I looked out to see the most unassuming car making it. I still can’t come up with anywhere near a rational explanation. There is nothing I know of that can happen to a car that can make it sound like that….other than as mentioned, a 4 wheel drive car burning out constantly as it drives down the road at about 10 miles an hour until it’s tires all explode.

Anyway….never a shortage of interesting things going on outside my window in this town.

Wow…before I could even hit post, there was a knock on my door. I immediately guessed it was that gaggle of hot chicks I’ve been expecting to just show up some day….but alas…it was not. It was just some friendly neighborhood bible thumpers inviting me to church with them. I hope I didn’t look too stoned when I told them I was going to be busy driving thumbtacks under my toe nails all night instead.

A few minutes ago, I started to write a post about what bullshit it was that my car had just been towed away.

See, I’m duly authorized to park in my parking spot. For one, I live in the apartment building that I share with my office. Second, I work at my office. Thus, of all the cars to tow, mine should be the last one you would expect, right?

OK, so about 10 minutes ago, I walk to the window to smoke, and notice to my horror that my car is being towed away. I’ve seen it happen before, and know it’s pointless to scream obscenities at the truck driver.

So I resign myself to going tomorrow, and explaining how the two stickers on my windshield mean that one should NEVER EVER tow away my car.

I begin to write down this bullshit story for your benefit….

And as I’m writing, they come and tow my car right back into it’s spot. Only instead of being front wheels into the spot, they leave it front wheels pointing out.

I assume they did this because they realized what a fucking mistake they had just made, but shouldn’t they have perhaps looked for a parking pass first? It’s a little ridiculous don’t you think? I’m glad it’s back and all, but isn’t that what I stick the two parking passes in my windshield for in the first place? To prevent it from being towed?

Anyway - DMTri, your car could be towed away any day now.

Some mornings it seems everyone at my office conspires to piss me off. Sure, it’s probably the chip I perpetually wear on my shoulder around the office that leads them to act bitchy to me, but it only makes the chip worse. In fact, the whole chip comes from them in the first place. Since I can do my job quite easily without their help, yet they can’t do theirs without mine, it poses a problem for them more than it does for me. This is especially true if it’s before 9:00am, when the FNG gets into the office. Also, before 9:00am, I have most likely not had a cigarette, nor finished a cup of coffee, leaving me grumpy, tired, and likely slightly hung over.

Most people recognize this, and behave accordingly. Some people though, are new, and haven’t had time to learn how to deal with the IT department, so they make inevitable mistakes that ruin my whole day.

Today, a new person, instead of letting me get to my desk so as to set down my thermos, take off my coat and get stuff together decided instead of scream my name several times all the way across the third floor, as I was walking with my hands full to my office. I was already at the door to my office and so I just pretended not to hear the person, and instead just beeped in and went to my desk.

This kind of thing happens ALL the time. Less to me than it used to, but that’s only because I no longer do much actual person to person support. Most of my work comes over the phone, and has to do with more than simply helping someone sign on when they forget their password. That job, thankfully, is now relegated to our Friendly New Guy. Although, as I mentioned before, he comes in at 9:00, and I come in at 8:00, so sadly there is a time each morning, right when it’s likely to bother me the most, that I have to deal with the noobs and users.

As soon as I sat down, the person called, like they should have done in the first place.

“Good morning, Cid.” I said. Note how I said both “Good Morning”, and then I identified myself. That’s as close to foreshadowing as I get.

“What’s with the attitude?” replied the noob.

“Nothing. I just wanted you to call, as I wasn’t going to walk over all the way over to your desk with my briefcase, my coat on, and my coffee cup and thermos in my hands, just to help you with something I could help you with over the phone. Patience is a virtue you know.”

This particular noob knew better than to test me. So she just apologized and went on to explain that as usual, the computer “won’t take” their password. Not because it’s not being typed in correctly, but rather that the computer “won’t take it”.

I dealt with it quickly. And went back to sipping my coffee and listening to Howard Stern. A few minutes later, a much more irritating noob called.

“Hello, cid?”

“Yes it is. Good morning.”

“I need you to make a CD with some files on it just like you did for me yesterday, but this one has to be done before 10 so we can send it to the client.”

“Who am I speaking to?”

“X”

“Who? Where do you sit? I don’t think we’ve ever spoken before, and I don’t know what you’re talking about because I certainly didn’t burn a CD for you yesterday.”

I said it in as friendly voice as I could, but I was irritated and they could probably hear it, as they then hung up on me. They then proceeded to call the other phone in my office, and complain to our FNG about me having an attitude. And that she would “have me know” that she doesn’t put up with that. Our FNG still didn’t know who he was talking to, or what he was talking about, because she didn’t identify herself to him either. Well, actually, she will put up with it. Because she needs help from me, and I don’t need help from her. Primarily, I program all day long. She uses those programs. Also, I didn’t say anything particularly rude to her for her to object to. I mean, go ahead and report it to my FNG, or even to my supervisor. Because what I said is the truth, she didn’t give her name, I didn’t know who she was, and I didn’t burn a CD for her yesterday…so blah.

I do have an attitude I guess, but it’s typically a fairly laid back one. And I don’t really get irritated unless people are inconsiderate or rude. And frankly, it’s rude to scream my name across the floor when I’m clearly not working yet, as is obvious by my coat being on, my briefcase, coffee cup and thermos in hand walking to my desk. It’s also rude to call me, fail to identify yourself, and start making demands when you clearly don’t even know who I am, or you would have known that it wasn’t me that burned a CD for you yesterday. I still don’t know who burned a CD for that person yesterday, but it wasn’t me. Maybe when she see’s this other “cid” that helped her yesterday, they will help her again.

Anyway…I’m done bitching for now. It’s boring to read, and not really going to accomplish anything. But it’s my blog, so I can post what I want and I just wanted to vent…because it’s just now 9:30am, and my day is already pissing me off. Howard is definately on a roll this morning though, they have a new Jagermeister machine in the studio, so it’s not all bad.

Just to make this post somewhat entertaining, I’ll direct you to this. It’s funny if you’re a “computer person”, but probably less funny if you’re a user and/or a noob.

I just decided to come over to my apartment for a my 2:00pm break from work.

Walking up to the front door, I noticed 2 rather (pardon my inherent racism) “gangster” looking black dudes sitting in a running car in the parking lot.

I walk through the exterior door into the foyer where I notice a typed out note stuck to the locked interior door.

What does the note say, you may ask?

“To Apartment 10-D : You have stolen 10 thousand dollars of drug money. Return it immediately or you will be killed.”

No, I’m not kidding. How awesome is that?

I must say, the author has better grammar than our building manager who never posts a memo on the apartment doors without at least one glaring mistake.

Update: So when I was done with break, I decided to go out the back door. A copy of the same sign is posted on the back door.

I had one of the most profoundly unsatisfying experiences with United Airlines and Orbitz yesterday.

See, when I booked my flight home to Oregon, I booked it all the way to Redmond. Then, several days later, I decided I would rather fly to Portland, stay a couple days, and then drive down to Bend with some friends.

One would think that all this would require is notifying the airline that I would like to have my bag taken off the plane in Portland, and that they are free to go ahead and sell that seat to someone else. But OH NO! Not that easy. If I want to stay in Portland, I have to PAY THEM an extra $350! Can you even fucking believe that shit?

The reasoning behind it is even more retarded. See, what they do, is instead of canceling just that particular flight off of my itinerary, THEY REBOOK THE ENTIRE TRIP, at whatever price is the current going rate. Well, it turns out the current going rate is $250 more than it was when I first booked, and then they charge a $100 change fee on top of that.

I already PAID for the entire fare, all the way to Redmond, all I want is to NOT fly on part of it. They can keep my money for that leg of the flight, and resell the seat to someone else that they are screwing. But no. It costs $350 to not fly on that flight that I already paid for.

Now, here’s the real kicker. Right now, I can book a flight from Redmond, back to Portland on the 22nd, which departs out of Redmond 1 hour after I arrive, for $94! WHAT THE FUCK!?!?

I’m simply dumbfounded, and well, hateful.

So my plan as it stands right now is to go to the airport on the 22nd, and while checking in explain to the nice ticket person my situation. If they tell me it costs me $350 to change it, I’ll just tell them I want a one way ticket from Redmond to Portland that departs as close to my arrival time in Redmond as possible. I’ll then lead the ticket person right along the convoluted illogical path I’ve been on for the last day. And if I get lucky, they’ll take pity on me and give me a break and just let me not fly from Portland to Redmond in the first place. I know they can do it…the ticket counter people have all the power. If it doesn’t work in Hartford, I’ll try again when I’m in Chicago. If it doesn’t work there, I’ll make a last ditch effort in Portland, and if it still doesn’t work, I’ll go ahead and buy the ticket from Redmond back to Portland, and fly back and forth, drinking their free micro brew and fuming with rage.