Archive for August, 2006

When I’m 64

Wednesday, August 9th, 2006

It dawns on me that my Minnesota Twins do better if I’m not there cheering for them. I leave town and they have a big winning streak. I go to a game, and our pitcher gets in trouble right away, our clutch hitters hit into double plays with the bases loaded. The team rallies when I go out for a bratwurst, but once I’m back in my seat, our relief ace gives up a cheap home run. This is humbling.

But any parent knows about humbling. Children grow up, and your influence over them declines precipitously. You begat them because you pictured yourself as a wise and beloved patriarch, but instead you become the warden of San Question. Your offspring yell at you and bang their tin cups as you walk through the cellblock. You try to enforce a few rules, and they ignore you. They become painted women in tiny shorts and tank tops and lascivious boys dancing in dim basements to bands with names like Stark Raving Idiots and Degenerate Thrombosis.

Either they will slide into a life of crime and addiction or they will awaken in time to get into medical school and become pediatricians. One or the other. Either they’ll wind up in the Big House, sullen, chain-smoking, heavily tattooed, or they’ll be making the rounds in a starched white smock, placing a stethoscope against the chests of tiny infants. And you, Mom and Pop, will have had mighty little influence on the outcome.

 Garrison Keillor writes about being 64. Well worth the read.

Joe Fucking Lieberman

Wednesday, August 9th, 2006

Is SUCH an asshole.

So now that the Connecticut Democrats sent him packing, quite rightfully I might add, he’s dedicated to assuring that a Republican gets elected in his place.

His love for the Republicans is what kept him from getting the nomination in the first place, and now this.

“I’m going forward. I’m going forward because I’m fed up with all the partisanship in Washington that stops us from getting anything done.”

What an asshole. Earth to Joe, you’re being partisan right this second…only you’re finally showing your true colors…those of a Republican.

Seventh Level Shutdown

Tuesday, August 8th, 2006

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Another day gone
Another chance rolling over
Another day gone
Another night I cannot remember
I’m trying but it’s just another blackout
Another day gone

I should have come over
I couldn’t break the shining chain
Of all the things that you wrote me
You wanted to be alone
And I don’t want you to be alone

Another day gone
Another night, seventh level shutdown
Another day gone

I should have come over
I couldn’t break the shining chain
Of all the things that you wrote me
You wanted to be alone
And I don’t want you to be alone
And I don’t want you to be alone
And I don’t want you to be alone