Archive for June, 2006

The Cool, Cool River

Thursday, June 29th, 2006


Moves like a fist through traffic
Anger and no one can heal it
Shoves a little bump into the momentum
It’s just a little lump
But you feel it
In the creases and the shadows
With a rattling deep emotion
The cool, cool river
Sweeps the wild, white ocean

Yes Boss. The government handshake
Yes Boss. The crusher of language
Yes Boss. Mr. Stillwater,
The face at the edge of the banquet
The cool, the cool river
The cool, the cool river

I believe in the future
I may live in my car
My radio tuned to
The voice of a star
Song dogs barking at the break of dawn
Lightning pushes the edge of a thunderstorm
And these old hopes and fears
Still at my side

Anger and no one can heal it
Slides through the metal detector
Lives like a mole in a motel
A slide in a slide projector
The cool, cool river
Sweeps the wild, white ocean
The rage of love turns inward
To prayers of devotion
And these prayers are
The constant road across the wilderness
These prayers are
These prayers are the memory of God
The memory of God

And I believe in the future
We shall suffer no more
Maybe not in my lifetime
But in yours I feel sure
Song dogs barking at the break of dawn
Lightning pushes the edges of a thunderstorm
And these streets
Quiet as a sleeping army
Send their battered dreams to heaven, to heaven
For the mother’s restless son
Who is a witness to, who is a warrior
Who denies his urge to break and run

Who says: Hard times?
I’m used to them
The speeding planet burns
I’m used to that
My life’s so common it disappears
And sometimes even music
Cannot substitute for tears

-Paul Simon

Only 66 of Our Senators Are Total Douche Bags

Wednesday, June 28th, 2006

Flag Desecration Amendment Fails by ONE vote.

That’s right, ONE vote. 66 of our senators are pandering douchebag assholes, and the other 34 are, well…they are too. But just not this particular time.

What the fuck is up with Diane Feinstein? She cosponsored this fucking piece of shit. Californians - do not vote for her in November. Clearly this was a ploy to show how “patriotic” she is before the election this November, do not allow it to work. I don’t care who you vote for…vote for anyone else. As this issue shows, the democrats are spineless little twerps who aren’t useful in any way. We might as well vote for all republicans. At least they have to balls to really bring on the apocalypse without pretending that they’re not.

On the Senate floor, the 73-year-old Feinstein recalled how as a young girl she was inspired when she picked up the Feb. 24, 1945, edition of The Chronicle and saw photographer Joe Rosenthal’s famous picture of Marines raising the flag on Iwo Jima.

With a blow-up of the Rosenthal photo next to her, she described it as a wartime “bolt of electricity” that left her with an abiding feeling that the flag was more than symbolic piece of cloth.

Awww… heartwarming. I always get a nice warm feeling when I think of winning a war by nuking two cities full of innocent people! But not as warm of a feeling as those people probably felt, right before they were vaporized! HAHA! Seriously though, it’s such a heartwarming image it makes me think we ought to trample on some more of the freedoms that flag is supposed to represent. It makes sense, right?

I’ve got an idea for an amendment. It probably won’t gain any support, because it would be kind of abrasive….but I really think it’s time has come. So without further ado:

Amendment 28 : This document is not bullshit. It’s serious stuff. Read the fucking thing, and then pay attention to it. Do not ignore parts of it, while adding any bullshit you feel like into it. Do not attempt to write discrimination into it, or to inject contradictions into it. Don’t waste time and tax payer dollars even discussing dumbass ideas like that. In general, as the congress of the United States of America, you have a responsibility to not be douchebags. If you don’t think you can handle that, see Amendment 2. We put that one in there so that you can have guns. Get one, point it at your head, and pull the trigger. Deal with important issues. You wouldn’t have to pander to the lowest comment denominators if you actually fixed problems. Imagine being liked for something other than being a better liar than the other guy? Wouldn’t it feel nice? Give it a try. Do your fucking job and stop dicking everyone around, in a nutshell.

What do you think? I think it’s got a nice ring to it. Sure, it’s vulgar and offensive, but such are the times we live. If they don’t want it to be an amendment, I think it should be played over a loud speaker in both houses immediately following the Pledge of Allegience every morning. Because it really seems like they’ve forgot the very important lessons that my proposed amendment teaches.

Science Gone Very, VERY, Wrong.

Tuesday, June 27th, 2006

This, is the most abhorrent abdication of responsibility I’ve ever witnessed.

What the fuck are these nut jobs thinking?

“Yeah…so, if too much sun and pollution makes the planet too warm, we’ll just…you know…block out some of the sun.”

Brilliant motherfuckers. Absolutely brilliant.

BTW - Everyone, really…go see Al Gore’s movie, An Inconvienient Truth.

Why do I spend so many days feeling like I’m insane, when it’s pretty clear that it really is in fact, most of the other people in the world?

I have an idea, why don’t we set a few oil wells on fire as a sacrifice to God? Maybe he would see how much of that precious blood money we were wasting on his behalf, and just block out part of the sun for us?

I hate people. I really do.

It’s really not complicated in any way, shape or form. Pollution, caused by humans, is causing global warming. Either we stop polluting, or we die. If we can’t stop, because we love our way of life too much, we die. Think about that.

The idea these insane fucktards put forth is to block out some of the sun, so that we can continue to pollute and not change our lifestyles. If we aren’t willing to change when our heads are literally on the chopping block, what makes them think we will change when we know we have a few more years to deal with it, because of the giant Blu-Blocker we’ve put in space? All that would happen is that in a few years, we’d have to block more of the sun. A few years after that, even more…then, no sun would be left. Hey! No global warming if there isn’t any sun getting to us!

I say we either find a safe and sane way to correct global warming, or we die. Either way, we brought it on ourselves.

Thanks For Keeping Track of the Priorities Congress!

Tuesday, June 27th, 2006

I don’t really give a shit about the flag either way…but if this shit passes, I’ll be desecrating them every chance I get.

It’s absolutely astounding to me that they even feel they have the time to entertain the notion of a ban like this. Wasn’t this issue already handled, oh, say, 30 years ago? The last time it was handled, it was decided that you could in fact desecrate the flag, and that nothing particularly bad would happen. And guess what? Nothing did.

But now the idiots are on the march once again, and feel it necessary to waste our time and money passing a ban on burning a particular piece of nylon created in China and sold at Wal-Mart for $10.

Another Brilliant Post by The Doorman

Tuesday, June 27th, 2006

Soooo funny…

It may take actually having witnessed such a dance before to really get the humor in it, but if you have somehow not witnessed it, count yourself lucky.

Total Fucking Horseshit

Tuesday, June 27th, 2006

What the fuck?

The U.N. is full of fucking retards. Case closed.

I understand it’s all about propaganda…but seriously, there can’t be anyone in the entire world that actually believes this fucking shit.

New strains of highly potent cannabis are as dangerous as heroin and cocaine, and the drug can no longer be dismissed as “soft and relatively harmless”, the United Nations has reported.

Ahh…I knew there was a reason I layed in bed with dialated pupils, tremors, chills, nausea, vomiting, diarreah, muscle cramps, and hallucinations the last time I ran out of pot! I just didn’t realize it was just as dangerous as heroin! I guess I’ll have to be really careful not to O.D., since apparently it is now possible, and I don’t want to be the first person in human history to die from smoking cannabis, cause then everyone would think I was lame.

Before you know it, the alleys full of crack whores will be filled with patchouli stinking, unwashed hippy pot whores. Tough decision as to which is worse, but we must learn to accept it..the U.N. said it’s just as dangerous.

I wish it was legal to kill stupid people.

Another painfuly stupid quote:

“Today the harmful characteristics of cannabis are no longer that different from those of other plant-based drugs such as cocaine and heroin,” he said.

To all the but the biggest fucking uneducated retards in the universe, it’s rather clear that cocaine and heroin are PLANT BASED drugs, whereas cannabis IS A PLANT. Nobody ever really had a problem with chewing coca leaves, nor did people have problems with sugar, until they were refined into their pure drug forms. Once refined, you get people addictively stuffing their faces with sweets, and sucking dick for crack.


Monday, June 19th, 2006


It’s the caffeine, the nicotine, the milligrams of tar.
It’s my habitat.
It needs to be cleaned.
It’s my car.
It’s the fast talk they use to abuse and feed my brain.
It’s the cat box.
It needs to be changed.
It’s the pain.
It’s women.
It’s the fight for power.
It’s government.
It’s the way you’re given knowledge, slow with thought control and subtle hints.
It’s rubbing it, itching it.
It’s applying cream.
It’s the foreigners sightseeing with high beams.
It’s in my dreams.
It’s the monsters that I conjure.
It’s the marijuana.
It’s the embarrassment, displacement.
It’s where I wander.
It’s my genre.
It’s Madonna’s videos.
It’s game shows.
It’s cheap liquor, blunts.
It’s bumper stickers with rainbows.
It’s angels, demons, gods.
It’s the white devils.
It’s the monitor, the soundman.
It’s the motherfucking mic levels.
It’s gas fumes, fast food, Tommy Hil, mommy’s pill.
Columbia House music club, designer drugs and rhyming thugs.
It’s Bloods, Crips, five, six.
It’s stick up kids.
It’s Christian conservative terrorists.
It’s porno flicks.
It’s the East Coast. No, it’s the West Coast.
It’s public schools.
It’s asbestos.
It’s mentholated.
It’s techno.
It’s sleep, life and death.
It’s speed, coke and meth.
It’s hay fever, pain relievers, oral sex and smoker’s breath.
It stretches for as far as the eye can see.
It’s reality, fuck it.
It’s everything but me.
On and on and on and on
The list goes on and on and on and on.
It’s in the air, in the water.
It’s in the meat.
It’s indirect, indiscrete, inconsistent, and incomplete.
It’s on the street, every city and everywhere you go.
In every man it’s the insanity, the fantasy, the casualties.
It’s the health care system.
It’s welfare victims.
It’s assault weapons.
It’s television religion and its false lessons.
It’s cops, pigs with badges guns and sticks.
It’s harassment and a complex you carry when you’re running shit.
It’s wondering if you get to eat.
It’s the heat.
It’s the winter , the weather.
It’s herpes, and it’s forever.
It’s the virus that takes the lives of the weak and the strong.
It’s the drama that keeps on between me and my seed’s mom.
It’s that need to speak long.
It’s my hunger for attention.
It’s the wack, who attack songs of redemption.
It’s prevention.
It’s the first solution.
It’s loosing the retribution.
It’s mental pollution, and public execution
It’s the nails that keep my hands and feet to these boards.
It’s the part time job that governs what you can afford.
It’s the fear.
It’s the fake.
It’s clear.
It can make time stop and leave you stranded in the year of the snake.
It’s the dollar, yen, pound, it’s all denomination
It’s hourly wages for your professional observations.
It’s on your face and it’s in your eyes.
It’s everything you be
But it ain’t me mother fucker; it ain’t me.

Wondering Boy Poet

Monday, June 19th, 2006

Dream on child of change
Throw your javelin through the sun
Pierce the hearts of everyone
Though we push to slave the days
This is not reality
This is just formality
The cup is only being filled
For a chance to have it spilled
Flowing just like the days
Sailing just like the days…