God I Love This Town
I have no idea what’s going on. But I can scarcely believe how awesome this town is.
A few minutes ago, a beat ass car…perhaps say, a 1983 Toyota Corolla went by. Now this is not immediately awesome, in fact, it could be considered a regular occurrence in nearly any town in America. But HERE, you look out your window wondering what the crazy crazy loud deathly screech is, and you see this Corolla. It’s not the sound of a belt screech though, it literally sound like all four tires perpetually peeling out.
You think to yourself, “that can’t be right…how could a Toyota light up all four tires?” You are right. The tires are not all peeling out, as that is impossible…and not only that, there is no telltale smoke. And trust me, tires peeling out that sounded like this would be quite smokey.
After the car disappeared from sight (but not sound), about 5 cop cars raced by lights and sirens blazing in chase. I can’t see around the corner of the building next door (not my office, the pie shop rather) to see what’s going on. But the huge evil screech has stopped, and I can see the police lights reflecting off the building next door.
I’m just left to wonder what in the hell would prompt you to continue driving when you car begins making a noise like that. Perhaps he was already running from the cops when the noise started? Barring that, escape from the law for some heinous crime, I can’t think of a reason not to immediately stop driving when that noise started.
It seriously sounded like banshees at the gates of hell. The sound completely stole my soul for a minute. I couldn’t decide if it was coming from my computer speakers, or the TV, or actually from outside or what. If I could get a good recording of a sound like that, I’d put it on my myspace profile as a sort of audio homage to the visual design abilities of oh so many myspace users. It was just all of a sudden all around me. And then I looked out to see the most unassuming car making it. I still can’t come up with anywhere near a rational explanation. There is nothing I know of that can happen to a car that can make it sound like that….other than as mentioned, a 4 wheel drive car burning out constantly as it drives down the road at about 10 miles an hour until it’s tires all explode.
Anyway….never a shortage of interesting things going on outside my window in this town. 
Wow…before I could even hit post, there was a knock on my door. I immediately guessed it was that gaggle of hot chicks I’ve been expecting to just show up some day….but alas…it was not. It was just some friendly neighborhood bible thumpers inviting me to church with them. I hope I didn’t look too stoned when I told them I was going to be busy driving thumbtacks under my toe nails all night instead.
