Archive for February, 2006

Inspiration

Tuesday, February 28th, 2006

“The world is like a ride at an amusement park. And when you choose to go on it, you think it’s real because that’s how powerful our minds are. And the ride goes up and down and round and round. It has thrills and chills and it’s very brightly coloured and it’s very loud and it’s fun, for a while. Some people have been on the ride for a long time, and they begin to question: Is this real, or is this just a ride? And other people have remembered, and they come back to us, they say, ‘Hey – don’t worry, don’t be afraid ever, because this is just a ride …’

And we … kill those people. Ha ha, ‘Shut him up. We have a lot invested in this ride. Shut him up. Look at my furrows of worry. Look at my big bank account and my family. This just has to be real.’ It’s just a ride. But we always kill those good guys who try and tell us that, you ever notice that? And let the demons run amok. Jesus murdered; Martin Luther King murdered; Malcolm X murdered; Gandhi murdered; John Lennon murdered; Reagan … wounded. But it doesn’t matter, because it’s just a ride. And we can change it anytime we want. It’s only a choice. No effort, no work, no job, no savings and money. A choice, right now, between fear and love.

The eyes of fear want you to put bigger locks on your doors, buy guns, close yourself off. The eyes of love instead see all of us as one. Here’s what we can do to change the world, right now, to a better ride. Take all that money that we spend on weapons and defenses each year and instead spend it feeding and clothing and educating the poor of the world, which it would pay for many times over, not one human being excluded, and we could explore space, together, both inner and outer, forever, in peace. Thank you very much, you’ve been great.”

-Bill Hicks
1961-1994

55MPH?

Tuesday, February 28th, 2006

Ever wondered what would happen if you and three of your friends lined up on the highway and all went the exact speed limit?

You would make me laugh. (Provided I’m not behind you.)

Will Farrell does Bush

Friday, February 24th, 2006

These are both old…but damn funny.

Bush on global warming.


Bush campaign ad.

Burned By The Fire We Make

Wednesday, February 22nd, 2006

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And when man gained dominion
Over land and the oceans
He began to harm the planet
With his asphalt and his toxins
And to lay the forest bare
And to poison even the air
And he killed every beast
And taught the seas how to bleed

Burned by the fire we make,
What a shame

Then the winds gave in
And the rain knew no season
And the sun came to beat
On a land of sand and diseases
And when god looked down
On the earth and saw it was broken
Then the tears of god fell down
Through a hole in the ozone

Burned by the fire we make
What a shame

This is the nature of the human race
To kill off anything that gets in our way
Poor mother earth we disfigured her face
Man is the maker of his own disgrace

Burned by the fire we make
What a shame

Sunday Morning

Sunday, February 19th, 2006

Sunday morning
Brings the dawn in
It’s just a restless feeling by my side
Early dawning
Sunday morning
It’s just the wasted years so close behind
Watch out the world’s behind you
There’s always someone around you who will call
It’s nothing at all

Sunday morning
And I’m falling
I’ve got a feeling I don’t want to know
Early dawning
Sunday morning
It’s all the streets you crossed, not so long ago
Watch out the world’s behind you
There’s always someone around you who will call
It’s nothing at all

A Computer Company Whose Name Rhymes With Hell

Thursday, February 16th, 2006

I received authorization to order a new, totally sweet laptop last Monday. As of today, I still don’t posses it. It sits, as it has for the last three days, in a UPS warehouse in North Haven. How it arrived there is a rather boring if incredibly frustrating story. It does however illustrate just how the practice of rhyming their name with hell really is.

1. Our sales rep, quit. To become a priest. Seriously. No one told us. Not surprisingly at this time, he stopped responding to emails and phone calls, however his voice mailbox and e-mail account remained active. Thus 3 days passed before we got angry enough at them to call someone else.

2. The person we eventually called became our new rep. He is both new to us, and apparently his job as well. It took him another 2 days to get a quote to us. He refused to sell us stuff at the home user price advertised on the website and instead said we must pay a considerably inflated “corporate” price, for different machines altogether. Because we apparently cannot buy home user machines, since we’re a company, even if it’s what we want. His manager didn’t seem to agree though, and after several hours on the phone and several days wasted, the laptops were supposedly on the way.

-The weekend goes by-

3. Monday morning the shipping announcement arrived in our email. The new rep decided a good idea would be to look through our account history, and pick out an address we used for 1 PC roughly 8 months ago…and ship our laptops to that address, rather than the main delivery address on the account. The fact that the most recent 48 machines were sent to our current correct address didn’t seem to both him. Clearly we wanted these laptops shipped to a ghetto in Middletown.

4. A talk to our rep’s supervisor’s supervisor resolved this…or so we thought. We were told the next day (now Tuesday of this week) that our laptops were back at the distribution center and that we should have them the next day.

5. We didn’t get them Wednesday. Instead, we checked the tracking and learned that they were waiting at the North Haven distribution center for customer pickup, at the request of the customer. We called the vendor again. We were told that we should ignore this odd tracking status and that they would be delivered on Thursday at the absolute latest.

6. They weren’t here today, they were still sitting in North Haven, with the same tracking status. Everyone at the vendor swears up and down that they will be arriving tomorrow “by the end of the business day”. So we’ll see. But I HATE them…oh so very, very much.

The vendor has taken the minimally thoughtful action of discounting the cost of shipping, and giving us a $40 dollar credit because they are oh so concerned with our happiness. I’d be happier if I had my laptop, but I guess I can survive. But holy hell has this company gone to shit. They are just getting too big to handle their business. They used to have good phone support, and would actually be capable of getting their shit together enough to deliver two fairly stock model laptops within two weeks when you pay for expedited shipping, now instead you just receive a comedy of errors.

We did however, place another order for even more equipment from them today…because they just have better deals and good equipment for the price. But damn do I wish there was a serious alternative.

“Dude, yer going to hell!”

Sierra Nevada Bigfoot Barleywine

Thursday, February 16th, 2006

First, I realize that this is not a new beer, nor a particularly rare one on the west coast…but I had never had it before and in fact, had not ever seen it on the east coast. And I liked it, and if you haven’t tried it…you should, given the opportunity.

But wow…what a strong beer. 9.8%. Overwhelming rather strange taste, really..but a good one fortunately. It seemed somewhat like what I would image Celebration ale would taste like if you extracted 1/4 of the water out of it. The palet was assaulted in much the same area, but much more savagely.

Not something I was interested in having several of though. Definately a starter beer, not one you’ll want to carry around for the long haul. Of course, if you tried, the haul would likely get much shorter.

I can remember several times thinking I would rather have it much colder and in a frosted pint glass, but I didn’t have any…and it goes down pretty slow…so expect it to be fairly warm by the end unless you pound it.

I would however, strongly recommend against pounding it.

I Am A Scientist

Thursday, February 16th, 2006

I am a scientist, I seek to understand me
All of my impurities and evils yet unknown
I am a journalist, I write to you to show you
I am an incurable and nothing else behaves like me

And I know what’s right
But I’m losing sight
Of the clues for which I search and choose to abuse
To just unlock my mind
Yeah, and just unlock my mind

I am a pharmacist
Prescriptions I will fill you
Potions, pills and medicines
To ease your painful lives
I am a lost soul
I shoot myself with rock & roll
The hole I dig is bottomless
But nothing else can set me free

And I know what’s right
But I’m losing sight
Of the clues for which I search and choose to abuse
To just unlock my mind
Yeah, and just unlock my mind

I am a scientist, I seek to understand me
I am an incurable and nothing else behaves like me

Everything is right
Everything works out right
Everything fades from sight
Because that’s alright with me